It's Your Fault I'm Gone
by sunshiko
Summary: Roxas leaves after Axel cheated on him. This is his story on his agonizing life without Roxas. Rated T for language and lemons.
1. He's going

**Hey guys, this is also multichapter and should hopefully not get writers review and let me know if you like it. Much obliged, sunshiko.**

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Those stars had shown brilliantly that night. They sparkled icy blue white with an occasional red twinkle. The night was clear and the moon was full and in the middle of the sky. The air was soft and sweet, the spring breeze flowing by. No one was to be seen on the dirt trails unless they were hidden by the gentle rolling green hills. He looked so small and sweet. Like a little lost angel without wings. Blonde hair, the color of the golden sun and eyes as blue as the purest oceans and richest sapphires. But those eyes, oh those eyes! They held the worst thing possible: tears. The tears of sadness welled in his eyes and fell down his angelic face. The older teen felt ashamed of how so much innocence he had ruined and how the boy would've been the innocent one here, if only he hadn't have tainted that pure thing. The boy didn't need to be here, he knew this. He had cheated on him, with someone he would never know. The only memory he had of that night was….well, nothing. The young teen heard him mutter about it in his sleep. And he knew something had happened and on guess, he couldn't handle the fact anymore. The young boy glared the cutest and saddest thing the older one had ever seen. A glare filled with the pain of being betrayed. He knew he should say something, that this was the last time he would ever seen him.

"I know—"he began.

"Shut up. You cheated on me dammit! How could you do something like that?! To me?! I was one that was the most faithful and devoted. I held up my end and you let me down." The boy yelled, his voice rising. The older one, Axel, cringed.

"Roxas, you know I don't remember that night. I was all jacked up." He tried explaining, but he knew it wouldn't help. Roxas had made up his mind. And he wouldn't change it.

"The worst of it was you didn't tell me you went. The scent of alcohol and you coming home the next day told me you went. You're just a….,"the tears started to fall again. Roxas was breaking apart.

"A jerk? An ass?" he finished for him. Axel closed his grass green eyes and felt the rush of guilt hit him. It was worse than what he expected. Roxas turned to go but he caught him by the arm. "Roxas please…I'm so sorry…" he begged. Roxas turned to look at him, a pleading look in his eyes. The terrified look of a scared horse.

"Let me go Axel. Please. I can't stay around you anymore. The pain is too much. Just let me go. I need to be alone. These past 4 years are just too much to handle." Roxas whined. He knew to let go. If he didn't, Roxas would kill him with his keyblades.

"Will I ever see you again?" he asked, wishing for a glimmer of hope. The light in Roxas' eyes burned out.

"I don't think so. You may never hear from me again. I don't think I can forgive you Axel. I don't think after this." Roxas said with a death tone. He looked at the boy once more. He attempted to give the boy a hug but Roxas gave an unemotional weak attempt. He felt a tear fall as he watched the boy turn to leave, extending a hand but letting it fall short of reaching the boy's shoulder. The boy's hair swayed as he walked away, his hand to his sides and sobs filled the still quiet night. And, he, the one who cheated on this boy, and the boy that he loved more than anything, he let him go. He hoped that the saying was true, "If you love something, let it go, if it comes back, it's yours." He murmured the words to himself. But he was pretty sure that he wouldn't see the boy again. And this torture was the hardest to bear. He watched the boy walk, then turned the other way and headed home, crying the entire time.


	2. The Dream

**A/N: sorry to everyone that I waited so long to update this. Life has been hectic lately with starting college. hope you enjoy but don't get depressed. :)**

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He knew things would never be the same anymore. The bed they shared would now hold the guilty one's body, the shower they used together, would never wash away the guilt he had, and the house would now echo Roxas's voice, his presence, his scent. It was agonizing. How did he let something so precious go? He hit his head against the wall. It wouldn't help. Roxas was gone for good. So why did he have to go and sleep with someone he didn't even know. Nothing was gonna help. Not searching for Roxas or even asking for help from anyone. Everyone would tell him the same damn thing. "You should've been more careful and shouldn't have gotten drunk. You put yourself in this predicament. Not my fault." And then they'd walk away. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a TV dinner and shoved it in the microwave, setting the correct time for it. Axel also reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a Budweiser and chugged it down in small gulps. The alcohol felt smooth and cool going down his swollen throat but made his stomach a little queasy with no food to stop the influence. He glanced sideways at the cage holding the two lovebirds the couple had purchased a few months ago. Both were a beautiful vibrant red and they were snuggled up against each other. Damn, it made him feel a hell of a lot worse to see them so happy together. He looked outside and saw the twinkling stars who looked so content in the sky. The microwave rang and Axel went and pulled the TV dinner out, grabbing one of the clean forks that Roxas had washed and sat at Roxas' clean table. Roxas had kept the house clean and now, he was gone. Axel ate and played with his food, misery and sorrow becoming his new friends. Throwing away what he didn't eat, he went to his room, grabbing a pair of black pants, put them on and went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He locked every door in the house and fell into bed, relief spreading over him but only for a few mere seconds. He couldn't take the pain but he realized, he had to if he was gonna survive in this world. And who knew, Roxas might come back or he might find someone who would be like Roxas or better. But that was something he had no control over. He left that to God and God alone. He snuggled up into a ball and cried himself to sleep.

"_Hey Roxas!" He called eagerly. The blonde boy looked over at the redhead calling his name with a beaming smile._

"_Yes Axel?" He called back, running up to him. Axel smiled at the boy with the fire of a million suns._

_"I love you." He said, running his fingers through the blonde's silky angelic hair. The boy jumped on Axel, knocking him to the ground and started nuzzling him affectionately._

_"I love you too Axel. I wouldn't want anyone in this world besides you. Without you," Roxas said looking at the lake beside them, "I would have faded away and never knew love."Axel pulled him into a hug against the tree behind them and watched the sunset with him. Roxas looked up at Axel and kissed his chin. With that simple kiss, Axel returned the favor and the gentle soft makeout to the sunset had begun. After a few passionate, love dripping kisses had been placed, Roxas got up and looked once more at the sunset and then talked to Axel, rage placed on that angel face._

_"You cheating lying bastard. I know who you cheated on me with. I hate you!" Roxas said, hate twisting that simply pure face into a monster, "You couldn't wait till I got home. You couldn't wait. And now, you lost me. Are you happy? Are you that damn happy? I hope you die one day you lying son of a bitch." Roxas said and stormed away. Axel tried to stop Roxas and he turned around, shoving a keyblade into Axel's stomach._


End file.
